Maltesers Teasers (chocolate spread)

Product name: Maltesers Teasers (chocolate spread)
Purchase details: Tesco
Calories: 108 per 20g serving
Country of origin: UK

Last week, I learned of a new product that had the potential to change my life: Maltesers Teasers (chocolate spread). I was so excited about this concept that I ended up having various conversations with colleagues about how amazing it sounded. To my surprise and delight, one of them came into work after the bank holiday weekend and handed me a jar she’d found in a Tesco in Anglesey. Apparently it was worth it for my reaction alone...

The ‘chocolate spread with crisp honeycombed pieces’ came in a 200g jar which was meant to provide ten servings. We’ve decided it’s an early housewarming present (for the house I haven’t even bought yet!) since, once it’s empty, it’s the kind of jar that can be re-used as a drinking glass once the red Maltesers-branded label has been removed – bonus!

The spread looked amazing. It was thick, chocolatey (containing 5.2% reduced fat cocoa powder), and full of little bits. Only 12% of the product was the honeycomb, but these little balls (the same kind used in products like the Teasers chocolate found in Celebrations) were still abundant. They made the product a bit weird to spread, actually, as they were understandably bumpy and I had to be careful not to press too hard as I didn’t want to crush them. The aroma wasn’t the strongest but it did have the rich, milky scent of standard chocolate spreads.

When we first discussed this spread, the colleague who bought me the jar made an inexplicable comment: ‘I don’t know what I’d eat it with.’. Me and another colleague looked at each other and responded: ‘Er...a SPOON?!’...so it would have been rude for me not to have tried it in this way! It was really thick, sweet and so chocolatey. There was nothing about the flavour, though, that made me think of Maltesers, but the texture was great, with the ‘malty crunchy pieces’ providing some excitement.

The good thing about chocolate spreads is that they’re versatile. It’s perfectly possible to enjoy them as a low-calorie evening treat, as I obviously did! My trick is to use a bread that is also low in calories – the lowest I’ve found is Warburtons Milk Roll which is only 47 calories per slice. I then weigh the bread on its own, add the spread, and weigh it again to work out how many grams of product I’ve actually used. On my first sampling of this spread, I didn’t have many points spare, so I only used 7g of this Teasers goodness. However, despite being a relatively thin scraping, I thought it still went a long way and I didn’t feel hard-done-by at all. Even with this small portion, it was immediately obvious just how unusual the small honeycomb pieces made the texture – I felt like I’d merged two breakfast foods together and put Rice Krispies in a chocolate spread sandwich! However, there was a slight difference in that these malty pieces were a little bit firmer than rice cereal.

I’ve also had a couple of non-diet days since I’ve had this jar so I’ve been able to have fun with much more generous portions. I’ve tried the spread on toast which made the textures less prominent due to the bread already being crispy. Eaten this way, I also found that, due to the way the spread melted slightly, the flavour was even more chocolatey and tasty. However, I still didn’t think it tasted any different to normal chocolate spread.

I also tried a larger portion on bread where I did my favourite ‘trick’ of folding the bread in two and squishing it together to form extra chocolate goo. In this case, this caused the crispy texture to be more of a feature, and I was pleased that it also provided the occasional hint of Maltesers in the taste too. On the whole, it did mainly provide general chocolate spread flavours, but I did quite enjoy the slight stickiness left behind in the teeth which was very much like a normal Maltesers experience.

Then I decided to have some real fun...

I once had a brainwave and decided to mix a bag of Maltesers into a bowl of peanut butter. I think it was simultaneously one of the best and worst things I’ve ever done. ‘Wouldn’t it be amazing’, I thought ‘if I made a Teasers and peanut butter sandwich?’. So I did...

Oh. My. Actual. Days! I tried it on bread and toast, in both cases applying the peanut butter first, and found the Teasers was a little bit harder to spread on top of the toast due to the meltage. They both tasted incredible, though – unbelievably good! The saltiness of the peanut butter lessened the Teasers’ sweetness and, if you’re a fan of chocolate and peanut butter anyway, this is a combination you’ve just got to try. I probably preferred it on bread as the thickness was maintained but, in both cases, the highlight for me was that I’d used crunchy peanut butter even though I usually opt for smooth. The contrast of the crunchy nuts and crispy honeycomb was just heavenly.

Hats off to Mars for this product. It was a shame that the honeycomb didn’t provide any additional flavour but, despite not tasting unique, this was still an excellent product. It was the texture that made it particularly special and, having tried the spread with peanut butter, I’ve found one of the few products that, so far, has made me genuinely concerned about putting back on all the weight back I lost several years ago. For that reason, I couldn’t make this a regular purchase, but it will certainly be an occasional treat.

Appearance: 8.5/10
Aroma: 7/10
Taste: 8/10
Texture: 8.5/10
Overall score: 8/10